Breastfeeding is a lot of work people…like more work than I actually realized. After Jenson was born I was told that breastfeeding was going to be a bit harder since he was so early. It actually makes a lot of sense because I basically have lost 4 weeks that women who go full term get of ‘getting prepared’ body wise. Well so did Jenson…coming early there are things that he struggled with and one of those was coordination. Which eventually he will get it and so will I but we were told it would just be a bit more work. So ok…I am totally willing to put more effort into it because I really do want to be able to give him breastmilk!
Well luckily for me Jenson latched pretty easily! #win I would have to say that is because of the incredible lactation consultants I have worked with at PSL & Kaiser!! However, we did have to supplement right away. His blood sugar was low, he was jaundice and my colostrum was taking a bit to come in. The colostrum issue was not unusual though since I had him so early. This was expected – at least that is what the nurses said so I just went with it…so we started the milk train….breastfeed, then formula feed and then pump. Every. Single. Time. Uh my tatas were soo sore people!! Ha ha not just the nipples but my boobs too! Doing that is a lot of work! I was like ‘dang do I have to do this for forever?!’ Lol They said it would help with stimulating everything to get things rolling.
So we kept on keeping on and once we got ‘home’ (we are in a hotel) it was hard to keep that going. Kind of fell off the wagon of that routine because now it was just us and I had to manage not only feeding the nugget and making sure he is waking for those feedings but also had to manage my healing and pain (which I am still doing and am soo anxious to be 💯 again but I know I got to be patient!) as well as making sure we get to the doctors appointments, my emotions because I was post partum as well as being in a hotel! Ha ha our whole routine completely changed when he came which obviously is totally normal but you are never really prepared for it..at least I had no idea how it was going to be…we are all different and the babes are all different so you can’t really plan that it will be a certain way. The last 2 weeks have been really new and a learning experience for all 4 of us. I say 4 of us because Ace our dog is learning to how to share in the snuggles and attention as well!
The breastfeeding has been the biggest struggle just because I am not getting a ton of milk coming in.
We went in for his 2 week appointment and the doctor asked what I wanted to do since my milk is just not wanting to arrive. That is when it really hit me…i guess being able to breastfeed is a big deal for me.
For the longest time I have said over and over that I didn’t really care about whether I can breastfeed or not and that I am more concerned Jenson just eats. I mean the money savings alone with breastfeeding is super nice (obviously) but I had just always been of that opinion. And to be totally honest being able to burn those extra calories from breastfeeding is something I was pretty stoked about!
I realize now that subconsciously my brain was thinking that breastfeeding is way more important to me. We are all different and we all have different things that are really important to us. As you all know food and health are extremely important to me. I want my kid to be healthy like any other parent and I also want to be able to experience that bonding time with Jenson with breastfeeding.
After we left the doctor for Jenson’s 2 week appointment I started to cry….and when I say cry it was like the ugly cry, with a side of sobbing hot mess. I blame this partially on my hormones and postpartum…haha Tanner was concerned and asked what was wrong. I told him that I guess I am struggling with this feeding because I didn’t realize it was important to me. Me crying is what made me realize …oh maybe this breastfeeding stuff IS more important that I have actually been saying…
Maybe it changed when I started to actually do it? I don’t really know when it changed or what..
It dawned on me that this topic is more important than I have given it credit and that is totally ok just something I didn’t know was gonna happen! Ha ha don’t mind the crazy ball of Mess you married love!
Tanner looked at me and was like ‘I knew it was and you just needed to get there for yourself’
He then told me how amazing I was (swoon!) and that we just need to get on a system and do whatever we can to help it come in. As long as we just try our best then we can walk away saying we did what we could. If it doesn’t work after I try my best there is nothing to be upset or regretful about. It actually made me feel a lot better because I was feeling pretty low about it and I am sure other women have gone through those same thoughts. ‘Am I not good enough? Why is it so hard for me? What am I doing wrong??’ I mean not every women succesfully can breastfeed and that is just life and how it is. To be honest…that may be what happens with me…OR things may change. Who knows. .. I guess we will see down the road.
So with that we have made a plan to start the encouragement of the boobies! Woo! My plan will be to pump as much as I can throughout the day to basically get a sense of how much I am making and also be able to measure the increasing amounts. I have been told by multiple ladies that Fenugreek supplement is a great add in and totally helped them get their milk in. So guess what I just bought?! Lol I was also told about brewers yeast is a great one to add in. Well the thought of having to eat brewers yeast makes me wanna barf so I found it in a pill form and I hope that it has the same effect! I will keep you guys updated on that one.
So there we have it – pumping, fenugreek, brewers yeast on top of drinking a crap ton of water and eating some nutrient dense foods…(so i should probably chill on the pizza going forward lol can’t blame it on pregnancy cravings anymore!).
As my Mother in Law told me today ….the most important thing is to stay calm and relaxed during this. Stressing about trying to get my milk come in isn’t gonna help me..amirite!? I mean we all know how stress totally jacked up my bod when I was trying to get pregnant so I just need to simmer down over here! To help with that I will keep going to the chiropractor (which if you are in the Denver area mine is amazing and I highly recommend), morning meditations, blogging to you guys and of course essential oils!
Stay tuned as I will keep you updated on everything but for now I am making about 2.5 oz a day in milk. That is basically one feeding. So lots of prayers and good vibes that I make more!!! Ha ha