Ok I am a bit of a granola I know…

So I MAY have been told several times that I am a hippie and a granola. ha ha and to be totally honest…i like it! I would say my journey with changing my lifestyle to more natural all started from digestive problems.  Most of my life I have had digestive issues and about 5-6 years ago I started to get more persistent about figuring out WHY I had digestive issues and that is when I started learning more about products we use, ingredients and so many other things in the natural lifestyle world. It was like a huge wormhole I entered! I just wanted to keep learning more because I was starting to understand why i had so many weird and random problems. 

So when I started into my fertility journey i started learning about how there are so many chemicals being used in everyday products that completely jack up your reproductive organs. Then I thought….if that is the case then what else are they jacking up!? I then got completely grossed out and when on a binge and threw everything out and decided I needed to be WAY more mindful of what I am putting ON my body, what I am breathing in and what products I use to clean. I realized that nutrition and fitness isn’t the only thing that is important about getting healthy. So with that said I wanted to share a lotion that I came across that has great healthy ingredients and what Essential Oils I added in for Jenson. So I don’t really think I have done many blogs yet on my love of essential oils but I am definitely going to start sharing more!! I absolutely LOVE them! It all started when I was looking to change out my products in my house with something natural and healthy for me!

I got involved with DoTerra oils and seriously it was love at first site! Ok now I sound a bit crazy but hey it is a good kind of crazy! ha ha!! I love them so much and have found so many great ways to use them!! I used them all throughout pregnancy, pre pregnancy, my hubby has found them extremely helpful and even Ace! Woohoo! Not gonna lie…pretty damn awesome. lol

Ok so getting to the point I swear!! ha ha When I got pregnant I started looking for products for Jenson that were healthy and OK for his teeny little body. I didn’t want to put anything on him that had weird crazy ass ingredients that no one can even pronounce. I want to give him his best shot at life and part of that is being healthy!  I came across the lotion made by California Baby.  I found that it isn’t filled with tons of crap ingredients and in fact is quite healthy for your skin.  I mixed Frankincense, Lavender & Melaleuca Essential oils into the lotion and I put it on the bottom of Jenson’s feet after a diaper change as well as I put it on him after his bath time. So i am sure you are reading this and thinking ‘why are you putting oils in this lotion..isn’t the lotion good enough?’ hahaha I am a mind reader over here! So like I said earlier I want to give Jenson his best chance ever.  I started to do some research on what oils would be helpful for infants and found these 3. Well first of all Lavender is everything calming. Doesn’t everyone need that in an infant? lol Well my little nugget has very sensitive skin just like his momma and Lavender is one of those oils that everyone needs in their life.

Frankincense is another great oil to add in there because it helps your immune system (among a million other amazing uses for it) and then lastly Melaleuca is amazing for the skin! So there ya go…I created a wonderfully smelling and yummy lotion for the boo. It is fun to see how relaxed he becomes once I put some on, or if his tummy is upset i can add some on his stomach and it immediately relaxes. I actually decided to use it on myself as well because it smells so darn good!

Does anyone else use essential oils? If so I would love to know what you use them for!!

Here come the boob shenanigans 

Breastfeeding is a lot of work people…like more work than I actually realized. After Jenson was born I was told that breastfeeding was going to be a bit harder since he was so early. It actually makes a lot of sense because I basically have lost 4 weeks that women who go full term get of ‘getting prepared’ body wise. Well so did Jenson…coming early there are things that he struggled with and one of those was coordination. Which eventually he will get it and so will I but we were told it would just be a bit more work.  So ok…I am totally willing to put more effort into it because I really do want to be able to give him breastmilk!

Well luckily for me Jenson latched pretty easily! #win I would have to say that is because of the incredible lactation consultants I have worked with at PSL & Kaiser!! However, we did have to supplement right away. His blood sugar was low, he was jaundice and my colostrum was taking a bit to come in. The colostrum issue was not unusual though since I had him so early. This was expected – at least that is what the nurses said so I just went with it…so we started the milk train….breastfeed, then formula feed and then pump. Every. Single. Time. Uh my tatas were soo sore people!! Ha ha not just the nipples but my boobs too! Doing that is a lot of work! I was like ‘dang do I have to do this for forever?!’ Lol They said it would help with stimulating everything to get things rolling.

So we kept on keeping on and once we got ‘home’ (we are in a hotel) it was hard to keep that going. Kind of fell off the wagon of that routine because now it was just us and I had to manage not only feeding the nugget and making sure he is waking for those feedings but also had to manage my healing and pain (which I am still doing and am soo anxious to be 💯 again but I know I got to be patient!) as well as making sure we get to the doctors appointments, my emotions because I was post partum as well as being in a hotel! Ha ha our whole routine completely changed when he came which obviously is totally normal but you are never really prepared for it..at least I had no idea how it was going to be…we are all different and the babes are all different so you can’t really plan that it will be a certain way.  The last 2 weeks have been really new and a learning experience for all 4 of us. I say 4 of us because Ace our dog is learning to how to share in the snuggles and attention as well!

The breastfeeding has been the biggest struggle just because I am not getting a ton of milk coming in.

We went in for his 2 week appointment and the doctor asked what I wanted to do since my milk is just not wanting to arrive. That is when it really hit me…i guess being able to breastfeed is a big deal for me.

For the longest time I have said over and over that I didn’t really care about whether I can breastfeed or not and that I am more concerned Jenson just eats. I mean the money savings alone with breastfeeding is super nice (obviously) but I had just always been of that opinion. And to be totally honest being able to burn those extra  calories from breastfeeding is something I was pretty stoked about!

I realize now that subconsciously my brain was thinking that breastfeeding is way more important to me. We are all different and we all have different things that are really important to us. As you all know food and health are extremely important to me. I want my kid to be healthy like any other parent and I also want to be able to experience that bonding time with Jenson with breastfeeding.

After we left the doctor for Jenson’s 2 week appointment I started to cry….and when I say cry it was like the ugly cry, with a side of sobbing hot mess. I blame this partially on my hormones and postpartum…haha Tanner was concerned and asked what was wrong. I told him that I guess I am struggling with this feeding because I didn’t realize it was important to me. Me crying is what made me realize …oh maybe this breastfeeding stuff IS more important that I have actually been saying…

Maybe it changed when I started to actually do it? I don’t really know when it changed or what..

It dawned on me that this topic is more important than I have given it credit and that is totally ok just something I didn’t know was gonna happen! Ha ha don’t mind the crazy ball of Mess you married love!

Tanner looked at me and was like ‘I knew it was and you just needed to get there for yourself’

He then told me how amazing I was (swoon!) and that we just need to get on a system and do whatever we can to help it come in. As long as we just try our best then we can walk away saying we did what we could. If it doesn’t work after I try my best there is nothing to be upset or regretful about. It actually made me feel a lot better because I was feeling pretty low about it and I am sure other women have gone through those same thoughts. ‘Am I not good enough? Why is it so hard for me? What am I doing wrong??’ I mean not every women succesfully can breastfeed and that is just life and how it is. To be honest…that may be what happens with me…OR things may change. Who knows. .. I guess we will see down the road.

So with that we have made a plan to start the encouragement of the boobies! Woo! My plan will be to pump as much as I can throughout the day to basically get a sense of how much I am making and also be able to measure the increasing amounts. I have been told by multiple ladies that Fenugreek supplement is a great add in and totally helped them get their milk in. So guess what I just bought?! Lol I was also told about brewers yeast is a great one to add in. Well the thought of having to eat brewers yeast makes me wanna barf so I found it in a pill form and I hope that it has the same effect! I will keep you guys updated on that one.

So there we have it – pumping, fenugreek, brewers yeast on top of drinking a crap ton of water and eating some nutrient dense foods…(so i should probably chill on the pizza going forward lol can’t blame it on pregnancy cravings anymore!).

As my Mother in Law told me today ….the most important thing is to stay calm and relaxed during this. Stressing about trying to get my milk come in isn’t gonna help me..amirite!? I mean we all know how stress totally jacked up my bod when I was trying to get pregnant so I just need to simmer down over here! To help with that I will keep going to the chiropractor (which if you are in the Denver area mine is amazing and I highly recommend), morning meditations, blogging to you guys and of course essential oils!

Stay tuned as I will keep you updated on everything but for now I am making about 2.5 oz a day in milk. That is basically one feeding. So lots of prayers and good vibes that I make more!!! Ha ha

Welcome to the World!

If you follow me on social media you will see that I am no longer pregnant and our little boy has arrived! Jenson Stewart Bell was born on March 10th, 2017 and he is just perfect!! The last 2 weeks have been quite the whirl wind and I figured it was time to get back to you guys to share!!

So the week that Jenson came was kind of crazy! That Monday, March 6th, we went in for my 36th Week Appointment. Now if you don’t know about pregnancy appointments they also check your blood pressure and when they did it was high. In fact it was higher than the weeks before! So when the doctor came in she looked it over and said ‘oh you wont be going past 39 weeks of pregnancy with this result because you have Gestation Hypertension’

Tanner and I were like ‘ok we have a plan…in 3 weeks we will have a kid. not a month … 3 weeks!’ We both got excited and I felt so relieved to know that I would probably get induced rather than what I kept thinking would happen…my water breaking at work lol! I could already imagine my bosses awkward response if my water broke there!  ha ha

The doctor we saw wasn’t our regular doctor so she told us that she wanted to speak with Dr. Jiang who we were regularly seeing to make sure that she was in the know and if anything needed to be specifically for this change in BP. Well as we were waiting Tanner and I were starting to realize that this little miracle we have been waiting for for soo long is gonna be here in 3 weeks! 3 weeks…that is nothing! Insert slight freak out mode because I am now realizing it is only 3 weeks away! hahaha!

So as this is happening Dr. Jiang comes in with the other doctor..Dr. Stacy told us she was incorrect on this timing and that they actually do not let women go past 37 weeks of pregnancy with Gestational Hypertension because it could lead into Preeclampsia and that is something you absolutely do not want!

Dr. Jiang says ‘ok so next monday…you ready to have a baby?’ Tanner and I stared at eachother and I just uncontrollably started laughing. Obviously everyone was like ‘what the hell is wrong with her!?’ ha ha ha! I couldn’t stop laughing and was like ‘well ok in a week we are having a baby! March 13th…here we come!’ I tend to have laughter when I have nothing to say or am in shock about something. We had 1 week to basically prepare ourselves for this kid. I mean I felt like I was preparing all along but now it was a definitely time frame. The kid will be here next week.

So of course MANY calls were being made to the family to let them in on the exciting news and my Mom was like ‘i am coming out!’ Which was soo awesome! She was going to be able to be at the birth of my little nugget now because we had a plan! I love plans!! Plans put me at ease…destress me! I was starting to get soo excited and now in planner mode. I had to make sure everything was set with work, our hotel we were going to be moving into because of our renovation at the house, make sure family knew the plan so they could be there, get my oils for labor and delivery ready, pack, and the list went on. I was definitely on a roll that week! 

Roll on over to Thursday, March 9th and that is where the crazy really started! I get up for my morning bathroom break before I start to get ready for work. Feeling grumpy because I am tired of being pregnant but know I don’t have much longer! YAY for no more pelvic pain! So i am standing there in the bathroom and all of a sudden I just feel water dripping down my leg. I pull my pants off because I didn’t want them to get wet and I was like ‘what the hell is going on…!?’ I suddenly realized…uh I think my water just broke. So it was a sight guys. I am standing in our bathroom, in an empty house because Tanner just left with Ace to go for a walk and I am just leaking water! ha ha! I will tell you ….the water breaking situation was not something that entered my mind as a scenario anymore because well we had a plan! A plan that MONDAY was the day. Not Thursday…MONDAY! lol

So I immediately text my sister asking her about water breaking, how it felt and all that.  She calls me and is asking me questions and was like ‘yeah your water broke sister!’ ha ha! Uh ok. . so that happened. I am standing in the bathroom leaking, in shock and of course….I start laughing again. Tanner isn’t home yet, his phone is sitting on the bed so calling him is not in the cards. He gets home and I tell him the goings on and we head to the hospital. At this point I didn’t feel any contractions or anything. So we made sure to stop to grab some food to head up just in case because I hear that is important.

So there we are at the hospital, checked in and I know this baby is coming..just not sure when as I didn’t really feel anything in regards to contractions yet. The nurses there had to do several tests to see if my water indeed broke because I believe Jenson’s head closed the hole to where the water actually broke so not much more fluid was coming out. That defintely changed later in the day. So thursday because a day of waiting. I was hooked up to the monitors, having contractions (but at this point I wasn’t feeling anything at all) and just hanging out until active labor started. Around 9pm they decided to give me some pitocin so we can get the ball rolling since I literally was just hanging out in the labor room watching My 600lb Life. (btw if you haven’t seen that show …it is crazy and you should check it out!)

Around 915pm ish is when things started to happen. Then is when we told the fam to go out in the waiting room as things were starting to actually ‘start’ haha! We told the nurses that our original plan was to not have an epidural but if it came to it that I would consider it. I have never been through labor, obviously, so I didn’t want to completely rule anything out. Especially since sometimes I have a hard time breathing and put my body into a panic state because of it.

I am not going to go to much in detail about my labor and delivery as I am sure you don’t want to hear about the entire thing. However the labor and delivery went extremely smooth and quick. The contractions were intense for me, in fact the nurses were telling me later that I was having big contractions every time and that was why. Not that contractions are ever easy, they feel like gnarly cramps basically. I was able to labor all around the room, on a yoga ball, in the bath tub and the hubby was right there with me and talking through them to help me. Helping me to breath deeply and all that.  The bath tub was actually incredible and if you have the opportunity to have a tub in your labor room I highly recommend it. The hot water really relaxes your body and that is what you really need. For me, it was getting late…at this point I had been up since 6am and was pretty sacked out because of the waiting game we played all day! I ended up falling asleep for a bit in the tub while Tanner just sat next to me. I woke up to realizing that I wasn’t breathing correctly because I could feel my face and hands tingly. I knew this feeling all to well because that is the start of a panic attack for me. I get them when I tense my body up and basically ‘forget’ to breath.

Tanner then brought up a point his sister had and that was that if I were to get an epidural right now I could relax and maybe get some rest since it had been a long day for me. At this point I realized that maybe that is the route I need to go. I thought ok I don’t want to get an epidural BUT that will allow me to rest before we go into the delivery stage and then the baby is here and who knows what kind of rest I will get then. I looked at Tanner and said ok lets do the epidural. At first I did have feelings of ‘did I just give up on this or am I making the right choice for my situation?’ I am a stubborn mule and once I set my mind to doing something a certain way I definitely intend to keep it that way, but, this was the time for me to set aside my stubbornness and do what was right for my body, my mind and for my little miracle that was waiting to be born.

Once we got the epidural in I immediately felt my body relax. I actually didn’t realize how tight and pent up my body was. There was some breathing I clearly wasn’t doing correctly which in the end would not have helped my labor at all. I definitely had made the right decision, I was able to relax my mind and body and immediately fell asleep. I think I slept for MAYBE 30 mins? I started to feel the contractions again and the nurses were like ‘hmm you shouldn’t be feeling them so sharply!’ They turned to look at the contraction monitor and were like ‘omg how are you not like screaming’ Apparently my contractions had gotten way more intense and were basically off the charts. This baby was coming and it was coming right now!

At 1:07am it was time for the delivery/pushing stage! We were so close! EEK we were going to meet this little critter and find out if it was a boy or a girl! YAY!!!! Then…1:17am Jenson arrived!! It was quick! In fact it was so quick that our doctors intern that was shadowing her all week didn’t even make it to the birth! He walked in as they were handing me Jenson!  haha! Poor guy missed it!

I just couldn’t believe how quick it all was and so emotional! This little baby we waited for for over 4 years is now here and it was a boy!!! I think God gave us that easy and smooth labor/delivery because of how long we waited for him!

What else was awesome was that my gut was right all along! The emotions, the hormones, everything went berzerk and all I could muster up was tears of joy! The little nugget just stole our hearts immediately. I couldn’t believe that Tanner and I created this tiny little life. This little miracle was ours and we were his.  I now understand how your heart can just burst when your child has arrived!

I want to give a HUGE shoutout to the amazing nurses and doctors at PSL (Presbyterian/St. Lukes Medical Center) in Denver, Colorado. The care and attention we got was absolutely incredible. We received great hands on help from the lactation nurses there as well and it made me feel so much better leaving to come home!  I highly recommend this hospital if you are looking for one to give birth at. I really don’t have enough good things to say about our stay, the nurses, the care and the attention.

Thank you all for the amazing prayers and following me on this crazy journey of fertility and pregnancy! I will be posting more about postpartum and my journey with that as well!

Now onto a whole new chapter of Momhood!

Stay tuned…

 

Changes…Oh the Many Changes!

 

This entire pregnancy has been kind of bananas! Tanner was laughing at me earlier saying ‘you got all the weird symptoms no one talks about!’ ha ha! kind of true for sure! We had our 36 week appointment this week and wow…did we get some new changes then! It ended up being a 2 hour long appointment. We found out that I have Gestational Hypertension. The last 3 weeks my blood pressure has been kind of wonky (and on the high side) and when they tested me this week it was the highest it has ever been. So BOOM. Of course I had no idea what the hell that meant for us so we just sat in the doctor’s office and waited for our Doctor to come in and tell us the normal stuff of ‘oh the baby’s heart rate is strong’ ‘do you have any questions’ ‘see you soon!’

Well..that didn’t quite happen…because of the Hypertension they do not allow women to go past 37 weeks of pregnancy because it could turn into Preeclampsia.  If you don’t know what preclampsia is, well it is basically worse than just Hypertension and can cause LOTS of scary issues. So no thanks..let’s NOT go there please. They don’t even like to give it the chance to turn into it once you have hypertension so that is really nice!

So you ask..what does that mean for this pregnancy? Well I am so glad you asked! It means we are being induced on March 13th! That’s right folks…in less than a week we will FINALLY get to meet Cletus the Fetus and find out what gender it is!!!

Now when the doc came in and told us this news I of course immediately started cracking up. I mean who wouldn’t do that?? Thinking ‘oh hey we have 1 month left! So much time to get stuff done!’ to ‘ok we have 1 week to get our shit together’ hahaha! UH what?! Wait..is that really happening? Where is Ashton…ASHTON WHERE ARE YOU? This is got to be a joke! I have to be getting punked right now! My laughter immediately went into tears of joy as I have been so anxious to meet this babe! On top of that my pelvis pain, swelling of my leg and exhaustion has just been really getting to me and I have started to feel kind of defeated by it.

So the next steps until Monday….we will be moving out of our house and into an extended stay hotel. The reason being is on top of the baby coming our house renovation starts Monday too! Monday is quite the epic day already! lol So instead of bringing baby home to our new home it will be our new hotel! Which actually is totally fine…I mean we have a built in cleaning lady for the hotel. Can’t go wrong with that! lol In all seriousness though it does make all this an even bigger adventure and knowing that we have loads of family and friends around us, supporting and just loving the heck out of us has made all of this even better! I couldn’t be more excited to meet this little guy (or girl…but come on …I am pretty sure its a boy…should we place bets?!)

What makes this all even better is that my mom gets to come out and be there at the birth! This will be the first grandchild she actually will be there for as it enters the world! So it will be a special moment for all of us!! The fact that this has become planned actually eased my mind soo incredibly much! I mean yea…now we are less than a week away so it definitely expedited the process but I think that is God’s way of saying ‘it’s time and I am not gonna make you 2 wait any longer for your miracle!!’  On top of that it gave my Mom the option to actually come out to be apart of it which is something I was really wanting but figured it just wouldn’t happen! Tears of Joy? Yes…ok maybe a blubbering mess is more like it.

So here we go…on the the newest adventure! March 13th we get induced and then we get to meet our new family member!!! Stay tuned!

 

Today is just weird…

Sometimes pregnancy really sucks. It just does…I want to be completely honest here and not hold back here. This morning I must have woken up just on the wrong side of the bed. My pelvis has been hurting since and it is already hard to walk. Normally it takes a couple hours for that to kick in for the day and I have been soo good about just letting it go and knowing that it will soon be over. In fact I have been surprisingly easy going with everything I have going on…which right now, It is a lot.

Today though…not so much.

I feel the weight of the world on me, we have a house that has to be remodeled due to an unfortunate flood that happened in the house. Plus, we have this new baby coming that will change our entire world in a way that we can’t understand yet and we will be dealing with contractors at the same time.  To top that mountain off I will be eventually losing my job due to the office closing. For the most part..I am actually OK with everything happening. I really am – in fact a lot of it is a blessing just more weird timing. At least weird to me since it is all happening at once. So anyways, today I am here sitting at my desk feeling like I have a million things to get handled and feeling like I really can’t even nest because we are in this weird limbo of ‘will we be in a hotel when baby comes or not?’. 

I hate sounding like Ms. Pity Party but today, right now that is just how it is.  I feel like usually I can pretty much handle anything but throw in hormones that I am not used to and that all gets flown out the window. I feel like hormonal changes and crying are something that are more joked about in pregnancy. Like ‘oh you don’t want to piss her off!’ and yes..it can be kind of silly and fun to make fun of but when you are feeling it, living it…well that is a whole different thing. It isn’t so funny anymore.  Life throws curveballs, life can be nuts and life doesn’t and probably will never go to plan. Let’s be honest here…when have you planned something and it went exactly right? haha like never..lol

This post today isn’t my normal feel good post because I just want to throw it all out there and be honest with where I am. I feel like I owe you guys that. Pregnancy right now is hard for me. I want to cry, I want to scream and I want to not feel huge and have this pelvis pain. I know it will get better, I will get it all out and then be fine. You know me..I hate holding in anything. So to all the women that have dealt with this..I love you. You are Perfect. You are Beautiful. You are Strong. You are a Champion.

 

Monday’s are always tough…

Cletus the Fetus is making my hormones go nuts!

It’s the start of a brand new week! Hooray! 🙂 So let me tell you all about this weekend…first of all we didn’t do much! I was pretty exhausted for the entire weekend and Tanner really needed a break, which is totally understandable because I have been making him go 90 mph just like me. Lol Clearly he was over that business! So I really want to talk about yesterday because well in retrospect it was like a sad but kind of funny day.  First of all my day started with me waking up to Tanner surprising me with my favorite breakfast sandwich and coffee. We had planned to go to church (for once in a blue moon! :() but I just wasn’t feeling the best. Since I have been getting so tired lately and with the cramps and the sciatica he just wanted me to rest.  So we had our meal, enjoyed our new trashy tv show that we are completely hooked on…anyone seen The Royals? Goodness …can’t get enough. lol

Then that is when I got smacked in the face by the hormonal bus ride that became my day. Oh. My. Gosh. people…was I a hot mess you ask? Why yes…yes I was…

Tanner is very serious about these baseboards for the nursery!

All of a sudden I just started feeling very sad, lonely and well like I was gonna just start crying. I immediately told Tanner that something was wrong and my emotions were getting to me and I had no clue why. I felt like the weight of the world was on me and no one cared. He came over hugged me and told me that so many people care…and of course I turned into a blubbering mess saying crazy things like ‘no one calls or checks in…’ blah blah blah. It took a good 20-30 mins to snap out of it and I finally did and calmed down.

We sat down and just relaxed because clearly I needed a chill pill. I had decided that now that we have our kitchen sort of back (kitchen and basement flooded) that we should start getting back to our meal plans and if I can get one thing done I would love to get groceries. Tan thought it was a great idea! So as per usual I sat at my computer to get started but then just stared at my computer and then broke down AGAIN. I mean, seriously? What the hell was wrong with me?? Tanner rushed over and was like ‘lover what is wrong??” and I cried even harder and said ‘I can’t make a meal plan! I don’t know where to start! I don’t know what I am doing!!’ ….you heard it here people. I had a meltdown because I couldn’t make a meal plan. ha ha ha!

Looking back it’s pretty darn hilarious. My hormones and prego brain definitely got the best of me! BUT…this is real. I have only had one of those days twice since I have been pregnant. Just twice…I count myself very lucky because feeling like the weight is completely on you and you are alone is no joking matter. Many women get this the entire pregnancy!! Can you even imagine? The ENTIRE pregnancy….it’s painful, hard and well feels lonely. It’s very hard to snap out of it and realize that all those things you are thinking ARE NOT TRUE. Hormones are a crazy thing…I truly feel for you women who get this way more than what I have had to deal with!!

To go on with the story, Tanner helped me create the meal plan and then we went on to shopping. I truly truly needed him yesterday because I was extremely emo and he was there, there to just hug me and tell me how amazing I was. I had a couple more cry sessions and he let me just get it all out. It really did help to just get it out, which is something I must push on you all. If you feel the need to cry…let it out! It will only help you! Also, find other healthy solutions to help you move forward. For me, I diffused some oils which actually helped a TON. I diffused lavendar, lemon and wild orange and as we sat and relaxed I really noticed my head getting clear and getting back to normal! It’s important to have those tools at your belt when you have a crazy off day! We all get them, some more than others. That is OK…but remember to talk to someone. I had Tanner to talk to…to help me get through it. If you stay honest with yourself it will truly help you!

28 Week – Glucose Test and Sciatica

Just completed my 28 week appointment which consisted of a Glucose Test, Check baby heart beat and ask any questions that are needed to ask. This particular appointment is a longer one because of the glucose testing, basically to check if I have gestational diabetes or not.  So I went in, weighed in, peed in a cup and took this sugary beverage that tasted like fruit punch and then waited for the doctor to come in and chat. So far I have gained about 20 lbs and I feel pretty great! I have had this kind of shooting pain down near my tail bone. I actually thought I bruised it but today the doctor said ti was my sciatica. So this is a new one for me…I go to chiropractor regularly but she said that its most likely caused from where the baby is laying and that I need to slow it down (haha!). Slow it down???? Ummm do you even know me? How on earth do i ‘slow it down’

As the doctor was telling Tanner and I this I could FEEL the smirk on his face knowing that he will be ‘BABE! See i told you! You need to chill and rest!’ Probably one of the biggest challenges for me is to just sit and relax. I don’t know how to do that! Anyone else face this issue? Also, I feel like i have slowed down a lot..but it is hard! Thank God I have some amazing friends that have been helping me! You all know who you are and you all rock!

28 Weeks and Counting!

So slow down, sit upright (which I already do) and take it slow when I get out of a chair or seated position. OK..I got this. Wish me luck guys! Ha ha!

Does anyone have ideas how what they have done to help with a sciatica pain?

Next step is we wait….We sat in the waiting room for about 40 mins and then I had to give blood so they can test my blood sugar, thyroid and one other thing that I have completely forgotten about! (Insert Prego Brain…or Mushy Brain..) Pregnancy is so interesting guys…I mean you have all this stuff to test, all this stuff to look out for while at home all while trying to figure out how you are going to get through labor and then having a kid! It can be really daunting at times but thankfully I have Tanner to help chill me out and of course all of you amazing people! 🙂 The best thing for me to do at this point is realize that it’s going to be OK. I am not perfect, nor do I want to be (umm that sounds boring!) and I am going to do things right for little Cletus and I have to remember that. Its gonna be OK. haha! I tend to WAY over think things and then get myself in a tizzy about it when really there is nothing at all to worry about! Hormones on top of it all don’t help! One thing is true…my humor about it all has not changed! I can just laugh at my crazy and realize I can be a little nutso about things and that is OK I just have to take it down a notch! What I have learned in all this is the most important thing to have is your friends and family there to say ‘hey its gonna be ok!!!’ it makes a world of a difference!

So a shout out to all you amazing people! THANK YOU! Thank you for listening to me rants and thank you for commenting back on your thoughts! You are all awesome!

Tuesdays are for sleeping…right?

Not sure what is in the pregnancy water today but I am just really tired – I mean like super duper ‘is this my first trimester’ tired. I am about halfway through 28 weeks so I totally figured I would not get this! In fact, I had planned to get some organizing done in our bedroom and instead I find myself laying in bed playing with the snapchat filters and falling asleep. The house is no where near close to being organized or even put away but that is the loveliness of moving..right? So I am in some majorly comfy clothes, hair is up and I am just going to leave it at that for the day!

28 Weeks PregnantOn top of that…the basement flooded due to our dishwasher so the kitchen and basement have fans going right now. We have some demo guys here right now pulling up our kitchen floor to get everything dried out and on to the next step to meet with an adjuster. It’s been kind of a crazy weekend and I have been going at full speed…or at the fullest speed I can and I think today Cletus told me to shut it down.  One thing I really struggle with is slowing down…i just go go go until I fall asleep! Does anyone else get that way? Just me? OK..well then…nevermind 🙂

I keep getting told to slow it down but I guess I have never had to do that…so figuring out how to slow it dimg_5160own is quite harder than one would think! I get the itch to get up and do something when really I should be putting my feet up and letting myself just relax and maybe watch a movie! Ha ha! It’s is a tough one so any ideas about doing that would be great!

It is a learning process and I realize that so I am just taking one day at a time, one moving box at a time and I am working on not letting it get to me…well as best as I can!

So instead of doing what I intended on I am going to lay in bed, get my baby book ‘Baby Wise’ and start reading. I figure this is the perfect time to dive more into this book so I can start making a great routine for when Cletus comes!!! Who thinks we will have a girl!? Who thinks it will be a boy?

Sunday Thoughts…that Damn Stress!

Its Sunday afternoon and I hear the sounds of paint rollers in the soon to be nursery as I am sitting at my little desk in our new house working away.  I am just thinking about how life has changed sooo much for me. So many things have happened that I honestly never thought possible!! You all know how long it took for Tanner and I to get pregnant and after awhile I honestly started to feel hopeless about it. 2016 was the year I started to just give up and say ‘you know..maybe God is telling us we are just going to be kick ass aunt and uncle’.

I think what actually helped us TO get pregnant is I let the pressure off of me. The stress melted away as I started to think ‘welp this isn’t going to happen and it is time for me to be OK with it’. It’s a weird feeling and I just felt really defeated.

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Its amazing to me how sometimes you have to get to your lowest to start rebuilding. In this case…I needed to just…well..stop. I needed to stop. I put soo much pressure on myself that I was soo overly stressed which in turn caused my Adrenal Fatigue. I am not going to lie seeing people getting pregnant over and over makes it even harder. You think to yourself ‘what the hell am I doing wrong!?’

Well I can tell you one thing…YOU ARE STRESSING ABOUT IT! We as a society need to realize that stress is a huge issue for our bodies. It is a killer. It messes up everything! Plus I think a lot of us do not know how to handle it which makes it even worse.

I think that is why I was soo shocked when I actually saw those lines saying that it was happening. I had gotten myself to the point of ‘welp…we are done here…time to move on now. Move Along…nothing to see here’ ha ha ha

Things happen in their perfect timing. They really do…it isn’t OUR perfect timing by any means…whether you believe that is God’s perfect timing, the universe or whatever…but it is when its right. For someone who is quite the control freak it can be extremely hard to let go. However, the best thing you can do for yourself is to just LET GO. Work hard but work on that stress management or else what is all that hard work for?

Its Sunday…so draw a bath, go do some coloring, watch a movie or something to just relax and rejuvenate that spirit. As for me…I am going to organize…because I just love it! I am also going to think about my next steps in life. What I am going to do…what do I want to do? So many questions but for now…time to just be. Happy Sunday!

Getting Back on the Wagon!

Boxes, boxes and MORE boxes! That is my life right now…the biggest question I have to myself is ‘how on earth did we accumulate soo much crap!?’  We have so many boxes to go through, organize, get rid of and put away! It is just crazy! I sadly didn’t have a chance to sift through everything before we moved so now I am working on that! I have to say moving a 3 bedroom/3 bath house is way different than a 1 bedroom apartment! ha ha!

Luckily I have had help with getting through the boxes along with I have my Dad coming out to help paint the house and do other things we need! Thank the lord!!! Being 27 weeks prego and trying to get a house put together is img_5054a lot more work than I realized! Thank GOD I have friends and family that WANT to help!! Then on top of that we get to hang out! I say that is a huge win win! I had no idea that i would get as tired as I do and the hubby always has to keep me in line so I may sure to sit down and rest because I will just keep going if I don’t! ha ha Anyone else bad at taking time to sit and relax? I have a hard time sitting…i just want to move all the time! Last night however….I ended up deciding to just sit and relax and it was soo worth it! My feet (Mainly my heels) were just on fire!

So I started to relax and that is when I felt that wonderful sensation of our little #CletustheFetus moving all over the place! I think he may have been doing flips in there! We may have an acrobat on our hands guys! Ha ha! The best way for me to describe the sensation of our little miracle moving is like gas bubbles. Think of club soda with all those little bubbles? Well it is kind of similar to that only much bigger bubbles popping! It is a strange feeling but really exciting!! I feel like the last couple of months I have just been all over the place with the house move, my job, the baby arrival, baby shower and deciding what I am going to do after baby comes! It is alot on my plate and I am sorry to you all for not writing about it! This is my therapy to share with you guys!

So now I am back at it…I have lots of things to share and I am so excited to get more into detail about it all! Now on to my day!

 

Weird Stuff Happens When Pregnant….it is OK!

Hormones are raging, you feel bloated, constipated, diarrhea, tired as all hell and maybe some smells or tastes are a big fat NOPE. Not all women get symptoms and some get them worse than others. It is soo interesting…I am now 27 weeks and some days pregnant. I have had some weird symptoms that I never even knew were a thing until I got preggers! Have you ever gotten crazy Sinus/Allergy Symptoms? Wow I had them for a good month straight…so bad I had to take off time off of work because I could barely even concentrate. Apparently they can flare up when you are pregnant. It is a symptom that doesn’t normally happen with all pregnant women but it does happen.  I have seen alot of women say ‘i loved being pregnant’ or ‘I hate being pregnant’ and maybe a few ‘eh…it was Ok’ haha! So what are you? I actually enjoy it for the most part thankfully!

I just recently finished my registries and boy was that a task! Half the stuff the hubby and I had no idea what to register for or what! Like for instance…the bottles and nipples. Uh there are different kinds? Oh wait …there are a million different kinds!? Overwhelm city …amirite!? Luckily, my sister just told me what to get in that area so I went ahead and did that, but it can be super overwhelming. It can be especially when you have no one to help you out! I commend all those mommas that had to just figure it out! I am also just grateful that we don’t have to deal with the registry anymore! lol It was one big check that needed to be completed! The second biggest check I needed to complete was moving. We just moved this past weekend to our new home! It has been a bit stressful only because as the weeks go by we get closer to the due date of baby! EEk! I want to nest, get the house ready and relax as much as I can before the hurricane of our child arrives. So we got everything in this weekend and now we are just organizing, cleaning and getting ready to have the house painted! So much to do but now that we have gotten the actual move completed I feel a TON better! So hooray for that portion of it!

Anyone else make big changes right before baby comes? I am curious how common it is!

Raspberry Lemon Bars

I love to bake but I do not do it much because hubby requested I do not. Why you ask? He says he loves my baking and ends up eating it all and he doesn’t want to be 300 lbs! hahaha! It is a great compliment but then I end up not baking as much as I normally do! Well since we both have office jobs it is a great way for me to get in my baking needs and then send it off to the office and let everyone else eat the goodness! Sharing IS Caring guys!

On Sunday I definitely got the itch to do some baking. My bestie, Ashley, came over and we decided to bake together! It was a ton of fun! We tried 3 new recipes and my old stand by sugar cookie recipe (it is the bomb!). Everything came out really delicious!

Raspberry Lemon Bars

We were in the mood for some raspberry lemon bars which we found on Pinterest (umm…who else loves that site?). They sounded interesting especially because I have only ever made lemon bars never had thought to add another fruit to them!  I love lemon bars! I would say they are definitely my favorite type of dessert…mainly because I pretty much love anything that is lemony! Yum yum!!

So we went on our merry way to head to the grocery store (The UnSafeway if you know 5 points!) got our goodies and got home to get rolling…haha get it? Rolling? Rolling Dough? No? …OK moving on…

It had been quite a long time since I have baked AND I got to do it with my bestfriend! Talk about soo much fun all while watching Playing House! Have you seen that TV Show? If not..you need to! It is hilarious and a great show to watch with your girlfriends, we were just missing a nice glass of wine to go with our day!

So, below is the recipe we used and I added some of my thoughts for the next time I will bake these bars! They came out perfectly baked. If you aren’t a really lemony person you will probably love them as is. I personally needed more lemon! I think the Raspberry amount overpowered the small amount of fresh lemon juice that is mentioned.

Ingredients:

FOR THE CRUST
  • 12 tablespoons butter, softened (1 1/2 sticks)
  • 1/3 cup sugar
  • 1 1/2 cups flour
FOR THE FILLING
  • 3 eggs
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 3 tablespoons flour
  • 3 tablespoons fresh lemon juice (My Suggestion: Add 2 more tablespoons of lemon juice)
  • My Suggestion: Add some Lemon Zest
  • 1/2 cup crushed fresh raspberries
  • powdered sugar for dusting
  • lemon slices, whole raspberries, and mint leaves for garnish (optional)

Directions:

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Prepare a 9 by 9 inch baking pan by spraying it with nonstick spray and lining it with parchment paper, leaving excess paper hanging over the sides for easy removal after baking.
  2. In the bowl of an electric mixer, cream together butter and sugar on medium low speed. Add flour and mix until a dough is formed. Press the dough into the bottom of the 9 by 9 inch baking pan. I use a small piece of parchment paper to press the dough so that it won’t stick to my fingers.
  3. Bake for 15 minutes at 350 degrees.
  4. In the meantime, make the filling.
FOR THE FILLING
  1. In the bowl of an electric mixer, whisk eggs and sugar until smooth. Add flour and mix, then add lemon juice and raspberries. Make sure the raspberries are a little bit crushed up by the whisk so that they can be evenly distributed through the filling. When the crust comes out of the oven, pour the filling over the crust. Return to the oven, and bake for another 20 minutes.
  2. Cool completely and then dust with powdered sugar. Use the parchment paper handles to lift the bars out of the pan to make cutting easier.
  3. If garnishing with lemon slices, whole raspberries, and mint leaves, do this just before serving.
  4. What I would do differently: Add in some lemon zest & extra lemon juice (maybe 2 more tablespoons) – the bars came out perfectly baked but if you want a stronger lemon flavor add in what I suggest. If you aren’t much of an lemon person then I would leave it as it is!

Recipe Courtesy of: Lovely Little Kitchen

 

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